Gratitude is without a doubt the most transformative and important practice I have in my life. I came across it when I was at a very unhappy moment in my life. It’s wonderful how these things can present themselves when we need them most. I used to go to garage sales a lot with my mom and had at some point picked up this book, Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy by Sarah Ban Breathnach. It sat on a shelf for a long time but in that hard time I reached for it, thinking comfort would be good right about now. And what it turned out to be was something so much bigger.
The book was essentially a guided gratitude practice. With a little passage to read for each day of the year and then you write down 5 things you’re grateful for. So simple but absolutely life changing. I felt better within days, I’m not even kidding. It’s like this practice flipped a switch in my brain. The reasons why gratitude works have been studied, it’s incredible how changeable our brains are. So don’t ever feel like you can’t change! Because in fact, the opposite is true. Your brain is ready and open, plastic and elastic.
Gratefulness helps us feel more present and mindful, it connects us more deeply to others because we can appreciate how they support us and, as you practice more, the easier it is. Feeling bummed you’re stuck waiting? Focus on what you can be thankful for. You’re waiting for a friend; I have a friend or I get a few minutes of quiet. The more readily you call on this practice, the more you will appreciate and your joy will increase.
So I say this with certainty – if you are struggling, feeling stuck or unhappy or overwhelmed by hardship, gratitude is the answer. It can change your life. It can shift your perspective so drastically and positively that you will be able to tackle anything. I understand how it might not feel that way but give this simple practice a chance and it can open your heart to joy in ways you would never believe. Life is hard, there are many challenges, things are not fair and some of us carry a bigger burden then others. But that is the reality, we aren’t going to make things better by sitting in it. What is so powerful and so incredible, is you have so much control over how you walk through this life. Choose to do it gratefully, you deserve to feel grateful.
So I’m going to share 5 of my favourite ways to practice gratitude. It can be quick and simple but the benefits are huge, for everyone. And the bonus is, if your kids see you doing it, they will too.
1. Keep a Journal
Writing things down is powerful. Take some time each day to recall 3-5 things you feel grateful for. Use lots of detail, even if you just do one thing, do it deeply. The research shows the more details you recall and the more descriptive you are, the more effective it is. So one great grateful idea is better than five, if you are struggling to think of examples.
2. Remember Hard Things
Remember times when things were hard or challenging and compare to your current state. The contrast can help you feel grateful. Also thinking of how it could be worse or noticing what has helped or is helping you get through something difficult. “Thank goodness I have my good friend to call when things are tough” or “I’m so grateful we have a car to get us where we need to go easily”.
3. Pay Attention to Your Words
The way you speak has power, choose words that reflect feelings of gratitude and positive emotions and you’ll feel more grateful. For example, “I’m so glad the sun is shining” or “Wasn’t that kind of …. to go to all that trouble?” Essentially this reframing helps your brain practice looking for the positive. The more you can think and speak with gratitude in mind, the easier it will become.
4. Use Visual Cues
Pictures help remind us to be grateful. You can create a digital board of images you feel grateful for, look at family photos or take the time to intentionally visually scan for things you feel grateful for i.e. your kitchen tap, warm slippers, a full cupboard, a bed to sleep in or a t.v. to watch for entertainment. This can be a quick and simple way to tap into grateful thinking. If you are having a bad day or a hard moment, just do a scan.
5. Write Thank You Letters
Putting pen to paper and spending the time intentionally thinking of ways that others have supported you, what you love about them and what you can thank them is a deep way to practice gratitude. One of the ways gratitude works to bring us more joy is by making us aware of the support that surrounds us. Coupled with the act of writing, this is a very impactful way to internalize gratitude as well as sending it outwards. This is a great practice to get into with your kids as well!
Which of these resonates with you most? What helps you feel grateful? I’d love to hear in the comments below!
