I had a realization while buying little tube of Gorilla Glue. That it actually represents something bigger in my life. That little tube of glue represents a huge shift in thinking and a different way of living. A choice that I choose again and again. The choice of simple. And choosing simple reminds me of how much I’ve grown.
I used to choose hard, ALL THE TIME. I thought that doing things the ‘right’ way meant doing them the thorough way, the long way and the most involved way. If you are going to do something, you better do it right was a mantra. And honestly, it was so exhausting.
Instead of choosing to pay $15 more for something, I would DIY it. If I DIYed it then I was reusing something or making it myself instead of just purchasing it. And in my mind, this was the ‘right’ way to do it. Saving money, being resourceful and working hard. Instead of simply just buying it. But the truth is, I spent so much of my time and energy getting very basic things done. Plus the reality is, I often spent the same or more DIYing. What if I spent a little more (or the same) money? I would have solved the problem and the clutter of the project gone.
Now I’ve shifted my thinking in a significant way. And this tube of Gorilla Glue reminded me of that growth. As I looked at the ten different options, I knew that old me would have chosen the cheapest immediately because I would save money or get the most value.
A different choice, choosing simple
But new me chose the simplest one. Which one would create the least mess, be easiest to use and was the smallest quantity, so it didn’t just dry up and go unused after I’m finished? And you know what, it worked beautifully! I glued all 5 items quickly and easily. And now the clutter of those projects is cleared and put away. Versus the old scenario; more complicated, more time consuming and the projects lie around for months waiting to be completed. Often never getting done.
The choice of simple is layered. It’s come from years of inner work, slowly making different choices and being okay with the discomfort. I’ve practiced new ways of thinking and new mindsets and it shows.
Here are some of the ways I see it most:
I don’t see perfectionism as a positive anymore
I did not understand that perfectionism was negative. It seemed to me to be just having high standards. As striving to do things really well, while never realizing how much it held me back. But I see how many things I DIDN’T do because of perfectionism.
I have a clear memory of a conversation I had with a friend. We were discussing a friend’s website and how we didn’t think it looked very good. We weren’t slamming it. Just saying it was great she put it out there but that we totally would have struggled to. And we would have struggled because it didn’t look exactly as we wanted. So instead of getting it up and out there, taking messy action, our perfectionism stood in our way.
I wonder how many other things I never did because of that mindset?
Perfectionism is also agonizing to experience. The struggle of working on whatever it is; the amount of time it takes you and how many times you rework and rework it. Never really being satisfied. And that’s the thing – there is no perfect so there is not satisfaction. You can look at your work later and still find criticisms.
Now i focus on different things. Is it functional and do the job? Does it help people? Is the point clear and the message getting through? Am I happy enough with it? And using questions like that help me to filter so I can more towards growth and away from stuckness and inertia.
I take messy action
Raise your hand if you love to research things? Maybe a new hobby you want to start. You’re really good at learning all about it ahead of time, knowing everything you need for it and planning your new hobby.
BUT the part that you get tripped up on is actually starting the new hobby. Or you do it once or twice and then never again. So instead of enjoying the activity you are great at buying stuff and reading about doing stuff.
I hear you, I was really good at that too. But now I filter myself. I limit my amount of time I’m allowed to research what I want to do or about the tools I need. I create a boundary for myself with time so I don’t slip backwards. Because the truth is it’s easy to stay stuck in before. And it’s scary to take action. AND we feel productive in the before of research. We are doing something, just not the thing we actually want to be doing. And you haven’t even tried the thing to know you like it! So don’t invest too heavily in time and money yet. Choosing simple means taking the path of least resistance. It can feel SO hard to take it easy! Try asking yourself these questions to find a simpler way.
- What do I actually need to know to get started? Then stop there
- Do I need to buy anything to start? Or can I rent, borrow or try it without?
- How long have I been thinking about starting? What’s stopping me?
- What am I feeling scared/nervous/hesitant about?
- Allow yourself to research ways to get start simply. Books like The $100 Startup are a great example.
- And finally, find examples of people who are successful in what they want to do without a lot of fanciness.
Your mindset creates your life
The thoughts you think, the limits you set on yourself and your mindset create your life. When you start to challenge those thoughts that aren’t helping you, that’s when things change. Things as simple as; do we need two armchairs in our living room? And then taking action and removing one – that’s the good stuff. Or what if I got up 30 minutes earlier to exercise? Try it! If I took my kids out of extra curriculars, would our weekends feel calmer? Test it out. Because as mundane as that seems, it’s not.
You just had a thought about how you are living, made a decision and took action on it to create something different. It’s all those small ways we do that that allows us to shift our mindset until we become someone who thinks differently. But we have to practice in small ways to make room for big ways. So don’t discount all the small ways you change.
But we have to practice in small ways to make room for big ways.
Choosing simple is all about the little choices. Because all those little choices add up to equal how you live!
And when you can start to change how you think about taking action and try it out, you’ll notice it gets easier and easier. Instead of thinking about that dance class you’ve always wanted to take, you just sign up for it. Maybe you love it, maybe you don’t but taking the action is how you find out and how you actually live!
So my challenge for you is this
The next time you notice your perfectionism or find yourself reaching for the hard choice – do something different. And take action on the things that are lying around; physically or mentally. Remove all those barriers you’ve created in your mind and buy the easy to use glue and get it done!
