When I started thinking about how to live an intentional life and what that means, it took some time to pick apart all the layers of how I got here and what it means to me. So the number one thing I want to say is that living intentionally is a process. It’s not a straight line, it will look different for everyone and it isn’t a destination. There is always work, intentionality and growth involved. So if I haven’t scared you away, let me share what is so life-changing about it and how to live an intentional life.
What is Intentional Living?
First, let me tell you what living intentionally is. Intentional living is choosing your life. It is deciding what is most important to you and then building your life around it.
Step 1: What Matters Most to You
You have to spend time figuring out what it is that matters most to you. This is the most important step because if you aren’t clear on what it is you want your life to look like, you can’t start creating that.
This could look like:
- Having a conversation with a partner or friend
- Journalling or writing out what your dream life looks like
- Trying things out; always thought you’d be the kind of person who spends lots of time outdoors? Trying planning to do a hike the next few weekends
- Meditating
- Sitting quietly with your thoughts and then reflecting on what came up
- Reading an inspiring book
- Doing something different or getting insight into something outside your regular life, like going sailing or visiting a farm. Then reflect on what you notice, are there elements you’d like to bring into your life?
There are lots of ways to start figuring out what you want and how you want to shift things in your life. Don’t just try one, keep looking at it from different directions. And once you’ve got at least an initial idea you can move on to Step 2.
And maybe you don’t know right away and that’s okay. What you can do then is figure out what is your biggest struggle and start there.
- Maybe you’re overwhelmed by organizing and cleaning your home? Work on decluttering
- Do you feel tired all the time? Focus on exercise
- Feel a bit lonely? Plan to connect and socialize with others
- Or maybe you feel a bit stuck or uninspired? Start planning things that will add some life to your life
- Overspending? Sit down and focus on making a great budget and plan for your money
- Unsure of what you want? Reach for an inspiring read
When you finish this step you want to be really clear on what you want your life to look like. You want to have thought or written out in detail what it feels like and how you spend your time. Once you have that clear picture you can start planning things that line up with that.
Step 2: Make a Plan
So now that you have an idea of what you want, it’s time to make a plan. Don’t get overwhelmed here, I’m all about tiny gains, so start small.
For example, did you decide that you want your weekends full of connection and experience over chores and rushing around?
Then one small step you can take is to make one plan for each weekend of the month. Plan a picnic with family, go apple picking, a hike in a nearby national park and a bike ride by the water. Done! You’ve taken one big step towards making your life more meaningful.
So what is it you want to do and what is one small step you can take today that will start taking you there?
Now you keep doing that and add on from there. As you continue to practice living with intention you will notice more. And when you notice more you can make more changes, add to your plan and reflect on what to keep and what to change.
Another strategy that will help you with this is setting aside time to check in. Look at your schedule, is it filled with things that connect with what you’re building or not? And if not, it’s an opportunity to readjust. Growth is all about paying attention and course correcting.
When you are figuring out how to live an intentional live, what you add matters as much as what you take away
Step 3: Notice What Doesn’t Line Up
So you’ve decided what matters to you and you’ve made a plan, now you need eliminate things that don’t line up. When you are figuring out how to live an intentional life, what you add matters as much as what you take away.
So on this step:
- Make a list.
- List everything that you want on one side of the page and then list everything you currently do on the other.
- Now starting drawing connecting lines between the ones that support what you want with your current actions.
- Next circle the ones that do not support what you want to create.
- Make a plan to change the ones that don’t line up
For example, do you want to exercise more? But you watch tv every night. So instead of watching tv, you go for a walk. Or are you overwhelmed by stuff and spend too much time managing your belongings? Then schedule decluttering sessions into your week.
Keep your list handy and be really clear on what doesn’t line up. That way you can be aware when you start to slip back into old habits or stay too long doing things that don’t take you in the right direction. Tiny, intentional steps each day that are purpose-filled will eventually add up to a full and fulfilling life.
Step 4: Re-adjust, Add or Eliminate
So like I said above, when you are working on how to live an intentional life, you want to have a touchstone. A point of reference that you can come back to and check in with. Maybe it’s that initial list or something different but some way to keep visual and clear what it is you want and be able to notice and understand easily.
This will serve to help you when you check-in and reflect or if you feel off course. Because part of any process of change and building something new is recognizing when things are going well or not. Then being able to be clear on what going well means and re-adjusting if necessary. Also adding new actions or eliminating ones that aren’t working. There is no one-and-done when it comes to intentional living, you won’t arrive and be finished. It’s a process of awareness. So don’t feel bad if you get off track – it’s to be expected.
You want to continue to work to gain clarity. Build meditation and reflection into your life because intentionality is working on getting more and more in tune.
Step 5: Keep Going!
Like I mentioned there is no arrival somewhere. Intentional living is a process in which you will become more and more attune to what to keep and what to let go of. You’ll be better at saying ‘no’ when necessary and ‘yes’ even if it’s a bit scary but it’s aligned with what you are after.
Learn to accept making mistakes and changing your goals so they keep in line with your intentions. Recognize it as part of growth, not as failure. And just keep going. Small steps add up and time passes either way, so make sure you’re using your time building a life of your choosing rather than being pulled along and just existing. Build your follow through muscles and commit to what will create your best life.
Living Intentionally
These steps are designed to get you to pay attention and start making conscious choices about your life. You can go through them over and over as you refine your process and get better and better at knowing what you want. Making intentional choices that contribute to a better present and future will get easier and your decision making will be clearer.
The more you practice the better you’ll get at building your intentional life. What’s one thing you are going to start doing?
